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don't take me as read.Monday, September 24, 2007Monday, September 17, 200712:41PMtoday i woke up at 7:30am and all i've had to eat/drink is a cup of warm water with a dash of lemon juice, i'm gonna be skinny and pretty in no time. not really, i'm bloody starving, i wish i was a little less self assured so i could get all down on my weight but right now i have no willpower . Sunday, September 16, 20079:21PMthis weekend has been pretty good, friday night was hysterical fun . going to london for this weekend, it's my first time on a plane ever ever :| see if i die in a planecrash or my plane gets bombed and any sicko is reading my after death journal 0o0o0o0o0 i can see you . ahaha put that in your trashy magazine and sell it for five hundred quid ! lovelove Saturday, September 1, 200712:45PMi had a dream last night i was invisible to the opposite sex. i was trying to talk to this great hottie but he didn't even see me. my mum says it's showing me i need to make my presence known. i'll worry about it later, i'm getting mwi today, oh and going to i.d i love i.d Monday, August 20, 2007Sunday, August 19, 200710:23PMfriday night was disgusting, getting id'd for club and i have to wake up tomorrow morning at half seven to tidy my room. i might fake my own death, although that would be a little over dramatic considering my miniscule problems. Wednesday, August 15, 20071:38PMeveryone makes mistakes, thankfully in my case there were no concequences, bad or good. this does not affect anything except what i think, and yet i suppose it's such a change of opinion for me. it's funny to imagine that everyone has little things like this that nobody else can see or hear and everyone's opinions of everyone else is constantly changing. it's like thinking about what's at the end of the universe or something, it literally hurts my head it's such a colossal amount of thoughts. Current mood:  fine .2:20AMi'm pretty drunk, i thought i wrote petty there but i didn't ! huuuuuuurrrrrrrrr, does huuur mean cold i think it does. lawlz i'm not even cold. hm sometimes i wish i wouldn't build ideal things in my head i am so so wrong all the time gads. boke boke boke yuk yuk yuk not literally boke thought i'll save that for the morning. i wish i could be right at something other than passing exams. i shouldn't wish so much i'm using up my million wishes, gads my little sisters just told me to get out their room. can't wait until suzi's birthday on thursday waay xo Current mood:  drunk but don't cry witto foxySaturday, August 11, 200711:44PMi had quite a good night, saturday night down the low levels with a burgerking doesn't read well on paper (or screen?) but it was a good laugh. i'm reading peoples' myspace pages and all their philosophies on life and i think i'm going to cry, i don't think i have a philosophy and it makes me feel like i'm not human or something. maybe my philosophy is just have a laugh and get wrecked but i really really doubt i'm not completely light hearted so i must have some sort of take on it. god i really do worry about the stupidest things sometimes. Tuesday, August 7, 20071:19PMexam results; Sunday, August 5, 20072:34PMi need someone to talk to and i don't even know what about, like an impartial advisor, but not about a mortgage. i need to stop listening to 'depressing' tracks. i need to turn eighteen eight months early so i can start overdrawing my account. i need a boyfriend and i WANT a burgerking. i smell like fake tan but i don't look it. i doubt i know what i need. that's better. Monday, July 30, 2007Wednesday, July 18, 200711:00PMi am so shit and depressing i wonder if i'd get a good hiding if i went around saying things like that in real life. i doubt when i was out in real life i'd even want to say it, i think i'd have to wash my mouth out with soap and water. 10:45PMi'm so lonely and i don't even know what's wrong with me. am i too fat or are my boobs too small or aren't i from a good enough family or does the fact i dye my hair somehow give the impression i am infact a fake person??? i wonder what is wrong with me, i'm getting to the point i'd actually welcome suggestions and i'm beginning to look at really trivial things like is my mouth the wrong shape which is pretty shitty considering i actually like my mouth ]: Tuesday, July 10, 20079:40AMt in the park 2007, or maybe the best weekend and i don't care if i ever get married of have wains because that'll be half as good, IF THAT, as t in the park 2007. leaving so early in the morning was a great idea because as it turns out so many people missed the whole friday because of queues. lily allen on the friday was amazing, she was so adorable and she put on a really good show. then me & mel went to see an amazing band on t break but we were so wrecked we forgot their name & how any of their song went so i'm pretty depressed about that. infact i'm not going to give a big account of who i saw and how good they were, except to say seeing james on the saturday was my happiest moment <3 i'm also such a stinking hypocrite, but i can admit it so that makes it okay haha. me and sam were pure running round the 'rave waltzers' for about an hour singing 'ttt ttttttt ttt in the fucking park!' and i just booked my early bird tickets for next year, i'm so happy. i'm away back to bed xoxo Thursday, July 5, 20078:55PMno proper 'sleeps' until t in the park now jeez paul what a sick minded boy wink wink. leaving the house at 5:10AM tomorrow <333 couldn't be happier! Monday, July 2, 200712:03AMmy life's been so fine & uneventful i've had nothing to moan about in this journal. i doubt i'll write about how drunk i've been getting or how many local gigs i've been to because isn't that always the case. apparently we're leaving at 6am for t in the park so we've to be at gillian's by five in the morning. that's pretty great for me, in any case i'm a morning person and i wouldn't have been able to sleep the thursday night for raw excitment anyway. i miss melissa ]: she's back tomorrow, which means tomorrow is FOUR SLEEPS until t in the park. jeez i remember when i was little and 'four sleeps until santa comes' seemed like an eternity. times of change indeed (: Friday, June 22, 20071:17PMsitting in my jammies, unshowered at twenty past one in the afternoon. this is the life (: decent weekend lined up i think, hopefully it's as good as last. gots nothing positive or negative to say right now only why was the version of umbrella i was listing to on youtube only one minute and fifty six seconds long. kinna annoyed. xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx Wednesday, June 20, 20079:41PMi just realised since i've left school i've been a whole lot less afraid of trivial things that used to terrify me. i've been putting my fairy lights off and not waking up in fright at every tiny little noise or thinking it's nuclear war all the time. i think maybe i was getting myself down because i was stressed underneath about exams but it was coming out in other ways. i've been a lot less nervy, which probably brings me down to the level of 'very highly strung' from 'very very very highly strung'. huge improvement though. also, i'm pretty pleased i haven't been drinking every day out of boredom like i thought i would. really i'm just finding free things to do, going for walks and things, and i seem pretty content without much cash. i still haven't started my book yet hahahahaha xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx Sunday, June 17, 200711:26PMfriday night was really good, drank my magners and went to the spaceplace. usually the spaceplace is dire full of 14y/o fannies but i'm happy to say there was no ridiculous drama i just had a nice night and there were loads of decent folk there. saturday was the bomb maan, me nd sam stayed in (with a bottle of whiskey<3) and played buzz and singstar with my family until 5:30AM. i really enjoyed myself. 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pleasantly surprised .